07 April 2014 @ 09:39 pm
As with the last commentary I did on a film still in theaters, let me caution you, there are spoilers everywhere. This is your final warning.

Ugh! Too many previews. "Start the cartoon!" as that heckler from Captain America said.

Every single time I see the Marvel logo opener, I love it. Love, love, love. Maybe it's the good associations with a kick-ass film franchise, but I really love it.

Poor Sam, getting lapped over and over.

Steve has a list! I love that Steve has a list.

"If you wanna call that running." Ooh, already they have bromance. Nice.

Natasha's hair is very...straight. And sleek. Distractingly so.

I really love the subdued Cap costume. It's very cool. Is there a subdued flag on it? There is! Nice.

Wait, Sitwell? What? He was just with May hunting down the Clairvoyant. Now he's a skillion miles away as a prisoner on a boat? That's a heck of a busy week.

The assault on the boat is such a cool scene.

Batroc, though. I just cannot take that name seriously. Maybe it's less amusing in French, but I keep hearing "bat rock" and picturing Batman singing Aerosmith around the cave or something.

"SHIELD doesn't negotiate." And to think Simmons shot this guy.

Funny name or not, if Batroc is making Cap stumble, he packs a wallop.

Oh, don't put your shield down for the bad guy! He's a bad guy. Kick his ass with every resource at your disposal!

SHIELD is spies, Cap. Of course they didn't tell you everything.

"This one's on me." "Yes, it is." Steve not feeling very forgiving, I see.

The Triskelion is the HQ? Not the helicarrier from Avengers? Well...okay.

"Romanoff is comfortable with everything." Hahahahaha. I love how Fury doesn't even seem to care what "everything" entails because he knows that Natasha would do that too.

Wow. If they fit three aircraft-carrier-sized craft in there, that bay is enormous.

Oh, of course Tony invents new helicarrier turbines whilst in the middle of being nearly shredded by the old ones.

It must be weird to have a Smithsonian exhibit about you.

Poor Bucky! (Also, I wish I could've gone into this movie not knowing who he is in it, but even Marvel didn't try to save that spoiler so we'll see how this goes.)

Ah, so Peggy did get married. Who to?

Oh, poor Peggy! I really hate Alzheimer's.

Wait, Fury denied himself access to a file? That doesn't seem right.

Heh. Pierce has John-Kerry-hair.

Trading Tony for political favors? Can Fury even do that? Wouldn't Tony just tell him to go screw himself?

"Man purse." 'Scuse me while I go asphixiate with laughter.

...And it's official. I like Sam. He's cute, he suggested Steve wrestle half-naked on TV... I'm just not seeing a downside to Sam.

I can't believe they blew off the tag to "End Of The Beginning" for this scene. I am still bitter about that.

You know, the car is really doing all the work in this scene. Fury is basically just sitting there, listening to the reports the car gives.

A battering ram? That's...intense.

"Air conditioning is fully operational." ...Well, at least he won't get heat stroke.

These not!cops are exceptionally well armed. Like, that's a lot of fully-automatic weapons there.

Oh! That'll ring your bell pretty hard, Fury.

Still, that's a pretty nice escape there.

"Long, Long Time?" On a loop, no less. Cap, you have horrendous taste in music.

Fury escaped to Steve? Why?

Oh, because he does know that SHIELD is dirty. Okay. So maybe we'll finally get some answers on what Coulson has been chasing for months now.

They shot Fury! Augh! He was just gonna tell us important stuff!

Steve's neighbor is SHIELD? Well that's just...disappointing.

"Tell them I'm in pursuit." *crashes through every single thing ever* Cap in pursuit is...messy.

Natasha actually cares about Fury? For real? Huh. Color me surprised.

Fury hired the pirates? So...is he totally a bad guy, then? I know he's got the alien-torture thing going on, but I don't think he sees the alien as a real victim, whereas humans he doesn't have the same excuse so...?

Pierce's little "anyone who gets in my way" speech isn't a threat if they're both on the same side.

That's a lot of really big guys in that really little elevator.

And they certainly came prepared, what with the magnetic cuffs and all. Those are pretty cool, though.

Wait, Sitwell's in on this? What?

And that'll ring your bell, too, Steve.

No! Not the motorcycle!

Turn every light in DC red? Geez, traffic's bad enough without that kind of nonsense.

And Pierce is a bad guy. Of course he is. Now I have no idea what's going on. This movie is very confusing. ...I love it.

Natasha is wearing wedge sneakers. Apparently she has no taste either.

An AI, huh? Let's see. Who do we know who is a] not a member of SHIELD and therefore probably safe to trust and b] an absolute whiz at programming and analyzing AI programs? Why is Steve not calling Tony right the hell now?!? (I know the real reason is because this isn't Tony's movie, but they could at least have a conversation about why they aren't doing it, come on.)

New Jersey sounds like the worst honeymoon ever.

"Specimen." Wow. This guy is delightfully awkward.

...Of course Steve is gonna give the car he stole back. I can just imagine him doing it with an awkward explanation about how it was for national security and he's very sorry for any inconvenience.

Watch the road, Steve!

...Why would Army regs forbid storing munitions next to the barracks? Surely you want your soldiers to be able to get to the explodey things pretty fast in an emergency.

The secret room back here looks very Star Trek.

"Shall we play a game?" Natasha has a sense of humor? This is new.

Is that...Zola? What?

"You are standing in my brain." That's really gross.

So...Zola actually did believe in Hydra's cause. And he's apparently a lot smarter and more dedicated to it than I gave him credit for. Huh.

Of course people resist when you try to take their freedom you idiot.

Oh. SHIELD is Hydra. That's...I did not see that coming. It explains a lot, though.

Waitaminnit. If Hydra is the corruption in SHIELD, and if Centipede was run by the Clairvoyant, and if the Clairvoyant is actually somebody in SHIELD who has access to all SHIELD's files... Is Zola the Clairvoyant? Has Coulson been chasing Hydra this whole time?

Pfft. Zola's had contact with digital technology. There was even an AI on that little flash drive of theirs. He's not dead, even if those tapes are gone. He's totally gone digital.

Poor housekeeper!

At least Natasha warned Sam what he was signing up for.

Natasha has an arrow necklace! Aww!

"If you guys eat that sort of thing." Sam is now auditioning for the Too Snarky To Snark club.

Sitwell is in Hydra. Wow. So glad Simmons shot him now. ...Does this mean Hand is Hydra, too?

Senator Stern?!? And a PA senator, too! That plus Tony's senate hearing from a few movies ago, and now the words "Leeland Yee" are flashing through my brain for some reason.

I love Steve declaiming readiness for lip piercings.

The Zola Algorithm is very much an expy for the whole PRISM-Snowden-CIA-datamining situation, I feel.

And now Sitwell's dead. Good. Bye.

The bridge/freeway fight is so cool.

Though it is awfully weird that apparently not one civilian out of all these guys has so much as one gun. To cover their own people's retreat if nothing else.

Heh. Sam is great with the cover fire. Nice.

Go Black Widow! Pound him!

During this bit where Steve and Bucky are fighting and Bucky has that knife, it looks like at one point he tosses it in the air, then catches it mid-spin and goes a different direction, all without Steve snatching it from him. That must've been hell to film.

...He doesn't remember. Oh, thank goodness! I thought he'd gone all bitter and crap that Steve couldn't save him, but this...it's not good, but at least it isn't betrayal.

Huh. Were they all just saved by the news crews? That's got to be a first.

...Why is that guard helping them? Oh. That's why.

Tetra-whatever. I bet they just gave him some GH325 from that alien he's been torturing. (No, I am not putting Fury back in the good guy club just because he isn't Hydra. Just because he isn't that flavor of horrible doesn't mean he isn't another kind.)

"You shaped the century." And the trailers made you think he was talking to Cap. This is quite a shift here.

I...really feel for Bucky.

Wow. Steve is very bitter about the secrets. He's reminding me of Coulson here, and wouldn't Coulson's heart just bust if he knew that I saw Captain America and thought he was like Coulson, rather than the other way around.

No way Fury really gives up SHIELD, though. Never gonna happen.

Heh. I quite like that the Cap statue is using the shield to hide its shame.

The WWII costume is back! Awesome.

...There is an easy lie on not preempting the launch sequence. Tell Rumlow the countdown is baked into the launch sequence and that once the process is started, it has to complete as scheduled in order to prevent anyone from stopping it. Whether Rumlow buys that explanation or not is another question again, but there's a shot at least. And it might have stalled for a few more seconds to hopefully give the real SHIELD agents time to maneuver for better position.

...That's a lot of guns going a lot of different ways there.

The bays are under the river? That's...huh.

Okay, so Sam is flying around trying to keep out the fire of those guns, but they're located at opposite points of the helicarrier. If he flies along the deck, can he get the guns to shoot each other? ...There's probably some kind of safeguard to prevent that, though.

...Who the hell is she? Oh. Black Widow in disguise. Okay. Neat.

Cap really does look like a "man out of time" in his WWII uniform here. It's kind of a jarring look.

And it looks like there is a safeguard to prevent crossfire from the deck guns.

Dumping all of SHIELD's secrets includes Coulson being alive, Skye's parents, and any SHIELD speculation on what Skye is (beyond O-8-4). I hope Skye gets on top of this file leak.

When Sam loses his wings...it looks like Bucky's pulling the wings off a bird. *sniff*

...Of course this fight over the last helicarrier has to be a horserace.

One of the Hydra targets is Tony!

"Stay where you are." "NOT AN OPTION!" Right about now, I bet Sam is thinking I never shoulda let those two lunatics into my apartment.

Wow. Sam is really lucky those rotors didn't puree him.

I don't know who I feel for more here. Bucky or Cap.

I have an iPod like that! Mine is blue, though.

Yeah, I still don't think Fury's gonna give up SHIELD. Or, if he does, Hand will just carry it on right where he left off.

...Oh! This totally explains why Hand was being so idiotic with the need-to-know stuff back in "The Hub." She probably did want some or all of Coulson's team dead or discredited to SHIELD. It would've stopped them going after Centipede. Wow. That makes so much more sense now.

She called in favors in Kiev? They don't really have a whole lot to spare at the mo. Politics in this universe continue to be the strangest politics ever.

I really love these black/white spy-style credits. And the music is just fantastic.

Loki's scepter? Oh dear. That's trouble.

The twins? Who are the twins?

Yes, Bucky, he was telling the truth. You shouldn't have shot him. Do you feel terrible? Because he'll totally forgive you, so you don't have to feel terrible.
Music: "Fireman" - Iron Man by Ramin Djawadi
Location: Ivy Manor
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