13 November 2013 @ 06:23 pm
Okay, so since this is a commentary on the movie, there are spoilers every-freaking-where. Proceed at your own risk. This is your final warning.

The new opening, with this new fanfare is so cool. I love it. (Also, the new fanfare is on the soundtrack, so that's pretty awesome.)

Malekith and the dark elves speaking with subtitles is really annoying. This universe has an "All-tongue." Why not hand the dark elves a wacky accent and just call that the All-tongue?

Did they just hide the Aether in exactly the same place it was before? Because it looks like they hid it in exactly the same place it was before. If I were hiding something, the first place I would hide it is not in the same place it was before.

I kind of like this whole Loki-in-chains bit! (No, not like it like that, get your mind out of the gutter.) It's just...fun. "Define 'worse.'" and Loki's little boot click. It's nice.

Frigga can't visit him? Okay, that's harsh. Granted, he did try to kill half of Earth and enslave the other half, so it's not like he's a fluffy bunny rabbit or anything, but even murderers can usually get family visits every so often.

Wow. The worldbuilding here is so much better. Although I don't quite get why Vanaheim is apparently made of tent villages, but I can roll with it.

And the new Fandral is a lot less annoying than the old one. Fandral I kinda got on my nerves. Fandral II does not. This preference of mine is, as far as I can tell, completely inexplicable.

"Next time, maybe we should start with the big one?" Good call, Fandral.

The new Asgard is much bigger and awesomer, too. I'm gonna go ahead and call it: Thor II is superior to Thor I in every possible way.

Huh. The way Odin is talking, it sounds like Asgard is something of a Nine Realms superpower and relied on as a peacekeeping force in nations over which they are not actually sovereign. I'm...not sure what I think about that.

Okay, again, as a breathing female person, I appreciate the view here. But I have to question why Thor is staring moodily off into the distance whilst wearing only leather pants? And slathering himself with water, no less! Yes, I know, fanservice and all. But is it too much to ask for my fanservice to be plot-relevant as well?

I've been on dates this awkward. I would have loved to have a Darcy come rescue me for interplanetary shenanigans. Lamentably...

Jane's remarkably unscientific percussive maintenance and Darcy's response to it are wonderful.

Oh my gosh, stop saying "sea bass!" This is just...a really bad decision on the part of the writers or the directors or somebody. I am not, right now, thinking of how awkward Jane is, I'm thinking of how weird this must've been to film. Totally takes me out of the story.

As someone who learned to drive on the left, and now drives on the right, I prefer the right. It may be arbitrary, but I do.

Alex Skarsgård has said that "I'm Scandinavian. We love to be naked!" and that his dad (Stellan Skarsgård, AKA Erik Selvig) often hung out naked at their house (though he said these things in different interviews). Which have me wondering just how much fun Stellan Skarsgård was having running around Stonehenge in nothing but his galoshes.

Those trailers are stacked awfully weird. I wonder why?

Oh. That would be why, I guess.

Darcy Lewis, ladies and gentlemen, master of understatement.

I feel like the infinite loop is a Portal reference.

Darcy is the worst boss ever, demanding Ian's shoes there. (Also, I'm not sold on Ian. Literally everything he does in this plot, Darcy could do on her own.)

So, this Jane-in-the-hallway bit is definitely a scene they ganked from a horror flick. And it just keeps getting more horrifying when the Aether nabs her.

This ship is quite Star Wars.

Wow. Heimdall has even gotten better in this movie, and that's impossible, because he was as awesome as it's possible to be in the first one. I am officially impressed.

Nice dress, Jane.

Why are those two still dry? Oh, Thor is why.

Hee! Darcy getting all soaked.

Nice timing, there, Darcy. Also, I quite like the idea that Darcy and Thor could be epic BFFs. There must be fic for that somewhere...

The back of the cop car got snabbled by the Bifrost! And nearly pegged Heimdall! Hahahaha!

You know, I really can not tell that this is Eccleston playing Malekith. If I didn't know that it was him, I would never figure it out from the film.

A goat at a banquet? Geez, I can see now where Loki gets his humans-are-ants attitude from. Odin is a massive jerk.

Oh, now he cares that Jane is sick? Of course. Jerk, jerk, jerk.

This whole turning-this-guy-cursed thing? Yeah, Dark Elves are harsh. Like, way harsh.

Since that whole conversation was just Loki talking with his own magic illusion, apparently he's at least a little perceptive about himself.

I love everything about Loki in this prison break scene.

Don't go left! Loki told you to! Never do anything Loki tells you to!

Defend the weapons' vault at all cost? You sure about that, Odin?

Whoo, go Heimdall!

Asgard has guns? Then why do they all use hammers, swords, axes, spears, and on and on? Gunshot wounds cause a lot less physical trauma than a sword to the gut, for example, so it can't be that they're being humane.

Those masks are creepy masks.

Ooh, the gravity grenade things are really cool.

Frigga just beat Malekith in a fair fight. Nice!

What?!? I can not believe they just shoved someone as awesome as Frigga into the fridge!

Wait, her hand is kind of moving. Is she actually dead yet?

...Well, I suppose she is now. At least she gets a really pretty funeral.

Poor, crazy Erik, trying to explain to all the patients in the mental ward about the Convergence.

Odin is...not being very strategic here.

Well, the ship is over your heads right now and you don't know it so...yes, Thor, they could.

Wait, why isn't SHIELD taking Darcy's calls? It's not like they don't know who she is and why her calling them is probably important. Somebody in their intel department needs to get their act together.

This planning-the-escape scene is so cool.

What happened to Loki's feet?

Jane's little payback for New York is both hilarious and awesome. As is Loki's reaction to it.

Use any means necessary to stop Thor? Odin is very recklessly superlative today.

"Evidently, there will be a line." And Loki officially gets his membership card to the Too Snarky To Snark club.

"Oh dear. Is she dead?" I love how distantly curious he sounds. Like he's examining a bug on a pin or something.

Hee! Fandral's little "For Asgard!" could probably be replaced with "As you wish!" to exactly the same effect. The Dread Pirate Fandral.

As much as Loki is basically the best villain ever, these scenes with him and Thor in the ship, then again in the boat, make me wish that those two were actually on the same side, instead of just temporarily allied. They would be an awesome team as brothers. And that's kind of a little heartbreaking, because it seems like there's a tiny bit of Loki that's thinking the same thing.

Darcy went to London on no salary? How?

I love that stripe on the outside of Loki's pants.

This...is not Loki actually betraying Thor. Those two have some kind of plot.

Did they just hand the Shakespeare nerd a pair of rhymed couplets? They did! I think the second was even pentameter, though it's pretty shaky on the iambs.

Loki is protecting Jane? I know it's just for their scheme against Malekith, but that's still all kindsa weird.

This is such a great fight scene.

He's sorry? And...is he really dead? I think...he might actually be. That's really sad. I will miss him, however not-a-fluffy-bunny-rabbit he was.

I can just envision the Verizon guy wandering into this cave. "Ah...can you hear me now? ...Good."

Chekhov's car keys.

Erik's reaction to Thor's announcement that Loki is dead is so awkward and hilarious.

Ha! Not dead after all! Yes!

Why, in the name of all that is lovely and good in the world, is there a solfège poster in the background there? Solfège is awful. And has nothing to do with astrophysics.

Reality intersects at UTC 0:00? Really? How...stunningly arbitrary and convenient.

Although the ship towering over Greenwich is a very nice piece of footage, I admit.

And there goes somebody's car. Insurance companies must hate superheroes.

Heh. I'd be taking pictures, too, so I don't blame them.

Okay, I'm going come out and say it. Randomly flinging cars to other worlds will never not be funny.

In fact, this whole battle is a really great balance of epic and hilarious.

Poor, confused Mjolnir! Finding Thor when he keeps hopping across the galaxy must be really annoying.

Why don't they all go haul on Thor's arm? Surely four people at once could get him out of trouble.

Ha! The pilots made it back! I mean, they would have anyway, though. Because the Vanir would've called Asgard and they would've gotten Bifrosted to Asgard and then Earth, surely. Not sure what would happen to their skillion-pound planes, though, so it's probably better they came back through the portal.

Wow. Loki was actually...nice to Thor just there. I'm vaguely concerned about what he did with Odin, but even so. That was legit sweet towards Thor. He really does love him, very (very) deep down!

I love the paint credits.

Wait, Brian Tyler did the music? Oh, now I'm conflicted. Because I love Brian Tyler (a lot), but I think Patrick Doyle's music for the first film might have been just a hair better. And Doyle's a really good composer, too. But if Brian Tyler is going to do the music for all the Marvel movies, that would unify the 'verse just that touch more... *is ambivalent*

This place they take the Aether is very Doctor Who. I keep trying to spot where the TARDIS is parked. Also, is that guy they give it to high?

Yay! Thor on Earth!
Music: "Frost Giant Battle" - Thor by Patrick Doyle
Location: Ivy Manor
Mood: cold
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