26 October 2013 @ 10:58 am
The Avengers  
I am very sleepy going into this one, so I cannot promise I won't type something incoherent.

I like the way the Marvel logo bleeds into the tesseract.

Nearly every single line in these opening scenes is too cheesy to take seriously. And I really love this movie, but honestly this section is the weakest bit.

I think I like Coulson in this movie more, having seen him in SHIELD.

"The tesseract is misbehaving!" I swear, this entire opening is made entirely of the Never Give The Captain A Straight Answer trope. You're a scientist, Selvig. Be more precise.

Why do the SHIELD cars have yellow lights, as if they were tow trucks? They should have red/blue lights, I think.

That is quite a crazy look on Loki's face, there.

He looks kind of surprised to be holding the spear at all. Like he isn't sure where he is or what he's doing. I've always thought that was interesting, and probably something that will come up in a future movie.

Heh. Loki's face at hearing Thor's name is great.

"Like the pharaohs of old." Who talks like that? That's a really weird thing to say.

Nobody rides in the back of a speeding truck with the tailgate down. Loki's just asking to be tossed off by a sudden acceleration. Or a bump. Or Barton having to dodge an armadillo in the road.

That look on Coulson's face when the building collapses is harsh.

"As of right now, we are at war!" Cue dramatic music. So cheesy.

Natasha being interrogated, on the other hand, is a legit cool scene.

"It's for her." Hahaha.

I haven't said anything in the kid-cons-Bruce scene. It's just a fun scene.

Bruce looks nervous.

You know they never lost you, Bruce. Why'd you bother asking?

Everybody actively tries to avoid global catastrophes. They are catastrophes that are global. Nobody wants one of those.

This council had better be important in a later movie. Because otherwise, they are a lame Omnicient Council Of Vagueness that exists only to allow someone else to play exposition fairy.

Captain America came out in 2011. Avengers came out in 2012. So, as I count it, it's been about six months since Cap was thawed out, and he's still hanging out in the basement, not dealing with his culture shock. That's not terribly relevant in terms of the plot, but it does make Cap a bit less amazing (in the good sense of thank-goodness-he's-not-actually-perfect).

Skye could learn a thing or two about how to treat a punching bag from Cap.

FURY: Is there anything you can tell us about the tesseract that we ought to know now?
STEVE: You should've left it in the ocean.
FURY: Why does nobody give me a straight answer? Did I just imagine being appointed director of a national security agency?

I love that Tony's breathing has a Darth Vadery sound to it. Granted, SCUBA does sound a bit Darth Vadery, so...

JARVIS doesn't have to tell Tony who Coulson works for. They're secret BFFs.

Tony is Iron Man, and he's worried about Pepper macking on sweaty workmen?

Hahaha. Tony almost-but-not-quite smiles when Pepper says she was having 12% of a moment. Even he knows that was a good one.

The American flag is not old fashioned so long as America exists and that's our flag. If the flag ever changes (beyond just tacking new stars on), or America ceases to be, then, and only then, will the flag begin to become old-fashioned. That whole conversation was kind of weird.

"Glorious. Not lengthy." Heh. He may be wrong, but Loki is undeniably smooth.

I remember talking this over with some folks and we decided that the helicarrier is probably something that it's technologically possible to build now. Right down to the stealth panels. But it would probably take too much fuel to run to be practical. And it might not be very strategic. Also, given how aerodynamic it's not, it probably couldn't go anywhere very fast.

I love that Steve actually pays Fury on their bet.

Hill totally has a crush on Cap.

Out of everyone in SHIELD, Coulson is one of about three guys who wear a suit. Fury, Hill, Romanoff, Barton, and May all wear the catsuit thingy. Everyone else is in the leather-and-catsuit thing. Coulson is a complete rebel. (I suppose Agent Hair is another outlier, but there's no explaining him.)

Why is Selvig inside that stuff and everyone else outside? Is there some kind of radiation they're worried about?

I liked the WWII Cap costume better. (Also, it's a costume. Uniforms are only worn by groups.)

I get where they're going with the eyeball transmission thing. But a retinal scan looks at the back of your eyeball, and that transmission apparently only included the front of that guy's eyeball. The door shouldn't have opened.

Joss has this long section in the commentary about how when Steve starts talking about a man "standing above everybody else," that he had to make the crowd start standing or else Cap would be a hypocrite. Because, supposedly, the thing that makes the superheroes cool is that they are better, or "above," everyone else because they're all "gods, monsters, and magic." Which is kind of disappointing, because there's an obvious difference between standing up over someone and standing up for them against a bad guy. Cap doesn't stand over other people because he's better than them. He does it for other people because he is the same as everyone else, just physically stronger. He radically believes that the equality of humanity mandates the protection of others from harm. It baffles me that Joss can write Cap so well, and so fundamentally misunderstand the character at the same time.

It does, however, explain a lot of things that bugged me about Buffy.

Tony takes over all the speakers. Heh.

That was a really great shot of Steve's butt there.

Loki looks genuinely terrified of Thor there. There's these little moments here and there that make me wonder if he is mind-controlled. I'm not sure, but...well, if that's where they go, I won't be confused.

If Loki really remembers being tossed into the abyss, then his memory's off, too.

Loki's bafflement about how he could possibly not be above humans is so adorably delusional.

...It also contrasts rather nicely with Steve's not-being-above-anyone attitude.

"I'm listening!" Loki is not too snarky to snark, usually. But he has his moments.

Loki would be munching on popcorn right now if he had any.

Tony has a tread on the bottom of his armor-boots. That is too cool.

Cap just bounced his shield off Thor's head. Ha!

Every time I see this scene and Steve goes "Are we done here?" I hear Daniel Jackson from after his fight with Vala saying "I am." in this tired little voice.

Joss in the commentary says he loves corridors. That they give a sense of movement. I generally think corridors are lame. They give a sense of not having enough script to fill the time.

Fury's answer here is so great. "Pretty damn desperate."

I like that Tony is both, A] going all mushy over Coulson having a girlfriend and B] actually heard when he and Pepper were talking about it as they left his penthouse the night before.

"I understood that reference." Speaking as a third-culture kid, I've felt like that a lot.

Cap's style comment does fall a little flat with him in that costume.

Poor Tony sounds so jealous of Howard being friendly with Cap.

Honestly, that shrapnel shouldn't still be working towards Tony's heart. In fact, the massive magnet on his chest ought to be pulling it in towards the magnet.

Apparently Bruce's reflection was the Hulk in that scene. I'm not sure if I quite see it, but it's a nice idea.

Of course Erik talks about Thor a lot. If I met a guy out of the Norse myths and hung out with him for a few days, and went drinking with him, I would tell everybody. I would tell everybody forever.

I like that Thor got really hesitant when he thought Fury was suggesting they torture Loki.

I just want everyone to know that I knew right from the start that Natasha wasn't really hurt by anything Loki said. I totally called that she was faking when she starts crying.

Every single thing about this argument is infuriating. Because Nick Fury was absolutely right to be making weapons. Everything Fury says is 100% correct.

"A nuclear deterrent? 'Cause that always calm things right down." Well, considering we won the Cold War, Tony, yes. It does.

I kind of feel like part of the reason everyone in this argument is acting so childish and illogical is the scepter. I think there's something about it that makes people crazy. It's subtle, which is why a little beep can break the hold, but that's probably part of why it works. Subtle crazy is the toughest kind to shake.

Why does Steve go with Tony to get his suit?

Both Natasha and Bruce try so hard to keep this from happening. And Bruce's last move is to get as far away from her as he can.

I love how frustrated Fury is with the dependence of his minions on technology.

I also love how everyone just knows Tony can fix the engine without having to so much as look at a schematic.

Tony is now realizing that Steve was the worst guy to pick as flashlight-holder.

Go Thor!

All the mechanics scurrying away in the background is too funny.

Though given that Tony hasn't been looking at schematics, I have to wonder how it is he knew that lever would be red.

That was a nice plane they just trashed.

I can just see Hill debriefing this pilot later. "Did I or did I not tell you not to get too close?"

Tony's just having fun, now. He practically cannonballed onto that debris to force it loose.

I blame all the gun control idiots for the fact that it looks unusual to see a WWII vet with a gun just because he's in superhero spandex.

I see Loki's minion in the background there, but they really should've made him a bit more prominent. Because it took me the longest time to figure out who let him out of the cell in the first place.

The fight between Barton and Natasha is really cool.

No! Coulson! (For the record, I'm still not convinced he's dead. ...I really hope he isn't dead and now a clone or a robot or something...)

Hee. In the middle of their fight and Natasha's all ...*chomp!*

Wow. Loki gets genuinely mad at Coulson for saying he lacks conviction.

Everyone gets mad at Fury for using Coulson's death (maybe death?) to motivate the Avengers. But Coulson basically told him to do exactly that, so he's just as culpable. Granted, being stabbed in the heart is arguably punishment enough, but even so.

This scene of Thor in the meadow not picking up his hammer is so weird. Can he not pick it up? Is it not coming when he calls? What are they trying to convey here?

I really like that Natasha and Barton are entirely platonic, as far as we get from canon. I want them to be friends rather than lovers. Something about that just appeals to me.

Also, I have no idea why Hawkeye is "Barton" and every other member of the Avengers is [their first name] in my head. But somehow, he's Barton.

Steve's boots look really comfy. I want boots that comfy.

"He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does." No. No, Fury does not have the same blood on his hands that Loki does. Not even a tiny little bit. They're not even remotely the same. Just no.

The Loki-versus-Tony conversation is absolutely my favorite conversation in this whole movie. Not only is Tony totally uninvolved in actually talking to Loki, but the threat he delivers (whilst not actually caring about what he's saying) is really quite a serious one.

This shot of Tony on the floor with Loki's legs in the frame is one of my favorite shots, if not my favorite, of the film. Aside from just being visually pretty with the all the sunshine and the Chrysler building hanging out in the background, it looks like a comic frame. But it doesn't bash you over the head with being a comic frame. Plus it's all ominous with a literal fallen hero and a villain literally standing over him. And the way Loki moves through it is just nice. I know that's kind of a weird thing to pick out of a whole movie, especially as awesome as this film is, but there you go. My brain is a strange place to live.

Tony went really fast through that window. They don't make a big deal out of it, but Loki definitely has super strength to get him going that fast.

In the commentary, Joss said that he liked the way the HUD instantly swapped from analysis to battle mode. He also said he didn't remember what "HUD" stands for. I was yelling "Heads-Up Display!" at my tv through that entire section.

Loki must shop at the same haberdasher's as the goa'uld system lords. That is a Very Silly Hat.

He's pretty handy with that spear, though, which is impressive because spears are pretty unweildy weapons.

Cap trying not to go flying around the quinjet cabin is both cool and hilarious.

That library they all stop dramatically in front of is the same one where the survivors hung out in The Day After Tomorrow. This street is a favored one for movie carnage, it seems. (I've never been to New York, by the way, and know nothing about it.)

I love that Tony isn't quite certain he's really seeing the giant space worm.

Loki looks genuinely disturbed at what he's seeing when Thor is shouting at him. Which is...weird. Some of his responses are just off. The "he's mind-controlled" theory seems more and more plausible all the time.

I wonder if JARVIS automatically devoted part of the HUD to analyzing the wormhole or if Tony told him to.

This Bhudapest thing is driving me nuts. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN BHUDAPEST?!?

This cop's response to seeing Cap fight off the chitauri is lovely and hilarious.

Barton is so calmly furious at Loki over the whole mind-control thing.

Hulk seems to have so much fun jumping around buildings and squishing aliens. Which, now that I see it written out like that, I'd probably be having fun too.

Barton shoots that one guy without even looking. Whatever.

I love Cap using the shield to deflect the repulsor onto an alien.

When Hulk punches Thor, that is totally payback for the fight in the helicarrier. "You didn't think I'd remember, but I remembered!"

That scene was entirely an excuse to get the mask off of Chris Evan's face.

The Council had really better come important later on...

The little noise Loki makes there is just...perfect.

JARVIS gets panicky at the idea of a giant space worm digestive system.

The schwarma joint is right beneath that Farmer's Insurance office, I see.

I have to wonder just what damage Fury expected to do to a fighter jet with his rinky-dink little handgun.

There's an outtake of that Thor-catches-hammer-Cap-catches-shield shot where Thor doesn't catch the hammer and instead does the most epic bobble trying to catch it that I have ever seen in my life.

While Pepper ignoring her phone is completely understandable here, it's also a little heartbreaking.

Hulk looks so excessively pleased with himself for waking Tony up.

Tony is being rather uncharacteristically reserved, only wanting one day off for saving the whole world.

And now Hulk looks disappointed that he can't pound Loki a little more.

I think the little kid with the "Rawrrr!!!" is my favorite.

I notice that Fury's answer of "I'm not currently tracking their whereabouts." is not the same thing as "I don't know where they are."

Natasha's muscle car is matte, black, and has a serial number on it like the SHIELD SUVs did. Interesting.

"Because we'll need them to." I swear, Fury's role in the plot is to say all the cheesiest lines in the most melodramatic way possible.

Whoo-hoo! Avengers Tower!

Thanos has been described as death's "literal stalker with a crush." Unless this refers to Hel or a psychopomp or something, I don't know how that works and I am very confused.

This vocalist sound likes the guy that sang "You Know My Name" from Casino Royale. Ooh, it is him! Ha. Go me.

The Avengers are very awkward eating the shwarma. It's like none of them know what to say to each other unless someone is trying to kill them.
 
 
Music: "Another Lesson From The Mandarin" - Iron Man 3 by Brian Tyler
Location: Ivy Manor
Mood: excited